seasons of change.

You have to look out of my window to understand ,how beautiful the sky looks at the moment.....all shades of blue and purple, amazing!



anyway not to lose sight, yes getting back to the title i've given this write up "seasons of change"......simply coz this year sometime in may i hit the big "30" at that time seriously all i could think was "is the baby gonna pop today" i was really counting the days before i was to give birth to my second son, joash. and believe you me life has been one thing after another.......recovering from the birth, relatives and more relatives ,illness and basically the works,last month was like "the tsunami" had hit me and i felt too overwhelmed.



today,i look at the sky and all i see is blue( code bt me and special friend) and that gives me hope......i think i did see a lot of black these last couple of weeks...maybe it was a nervousbreakdown......you know what folks, its nothing like you have to join the mental asylum and checkout mentally for a bit and you wake up alright ...no nothing of that sort its a damn whirlwind of thoughts and life keeps happening ,nothing stops.sad but a fact



I am 30 years old ,iam at the start of another milestone in my life and "i feel good" ," i feel nostalgic", " i feel scared" and "i feel damn optimistic".may the good times (and the bad)roll , its time to go back to the big bad world ......i've decided to go back to school and try my hand at being a "career woman" ( yes do i hear some guffaws from the audience) plans still not concrete but in the process...process such a positive word.

Motherhood, is really my thing .....i love my boys and to leave them in the care of others is really hard.....iam a jealous kinda mother....but iam learning to let go......hardest is the thought that i gave almost 6 years to my eldest and my baby boy who now is 5 months will be seeing less of mummy,hey but what the hell....i will be able to give them 100% quality time instead of the "nagger" iam becoming and then i dont want to be the kinda a person who lives only for their children and goes coo coo(mad) when the nest is empty(get what i mean) anyway its just a thought, but i must really do something other than obsess abt the house and planning healthy food menus....hard coz i love being at home,i know it sounds kinda 50's and not liberated...but its not simply that, i genuinely feel thats what i do best and it is" my choice".....but life changes and sometimes you need to try out new things ......

So looking forward to a new season in my life....not a new but improved moi! so here's to you life bring it on! cheers.