Sunday, December 20, 2009

About deep ends and year ends.

Two years a ago soon after i turned 30 i plunged into a deep abyss which has lasted for two years and now at age 32, i can finally say that the dark cloud has passed hubby might not agree with me. he might ask me who was that screaming banshee just a couple of weeks ago....this will be my answer " duh ever heard of PMS" so i still get down and i still wish i could strangle a lot of people from time to time but thats just part of the natural cycle of life...not the deep abyss i was talking about....

sometime in 2008 when i escaped to my bosom friend aps place to clear the chaos that my mind couldnt make sense of i wrote down a list (not the insane or silly stuff i post on my blog) but the real one nobody has seen......well as this dark cloud has lifted i have found out that almost 99% of the list has come true and a million of my prayers answered.
i have travelled more times this year than my jetsetting hubby.
Done stuff i never done in my more gifts , surprises good and bad and much much more.
i have made peace with a lot of my inner demons and discovered a load more about myself and others.
iam a person who believes in certain intangible stuff in life.....a couple of years ago no matter what i did i kept bumping into the word " Faith'' i couldnt understand its true meaning....2 years ago i even thought i 'd name my 2nd child Faith if the baby turned out to be a girl....alas i had a boy but you must understand how strong this word was hitting me.....i had no clue that over the last two years how close i came to losing faith in God and mankind.....i was on the brink of giving up on the human race as a whole( no this doesnt mean i wanted to off myself) i now see it was just a reminder that tough times happen and i was to simply to " keep the faith".

Now that i have come back to myself this past year a new word has made its presence felt "HOPE" i am really feeling a whole lot healither hubby bought me a beautiful delicate necklace for christmas ( shhhh i am not supposed to know of course) but guess what the pendant on it said "HOPE "!!!!!!!!! on a tiny coin both in English and Hindi what are the odds????!!!!

so as the year winds to an end iam full of buck and beans and looking forward to a good year with a grateful heart for all the good and bad stuff coz sometimes its the bad stuff that teaches us who we really are and helps us understand a bit more of life. so here's to Hope !!!!!! and i wish you all a Blessed year ahead!