Monday, February 8, 2010

Fear!


I've been afraid many times in my life, shit scared too. But this time round it gripped my heart with a vice like grip! give me a moment before i explain myself. sometimes i write on this blog vaguely becoz there are things that are too hard to share......so we hid behind doors and only let out the safe stuff but i want to change all that crap of taking time to heal , or hiding it under a deep recess of my mind.
What i share today is something personal ,something real.....believe me when i say iam not doing this for sympathy or any support..... i just want to say it out loud so "Fear will not hold me prisoner but hope will set me free".

Even as i write this i have already overcome part of the fear, i have made peace with the demons inside and am slowly understanding things are not as bad as i first thought or imagined.

So to get to the point joash my youngest is 2 years 7 months and is not talking much which btw is normal for some kids but i was beginning to get scared about some of the things he was doing!!!!
we've been to a doc and a couple of speech therapists and have decided to start him on it! yesterday was his first session and he did good! it was fun actually....so iam hoping that in the coming months my dahlin boy will start rattling off like good ole me.....but this irrational fear follows me around nowadays!!!
so if you pray sometimes or all the time ! just say a prayer for my baby and me !
I told my eldest josh recently that joey his kid bro was not speaking and as we are concerned ,he will be going to speech therapy, so pleez be patient with your baby bro when he bops you on the head instead of saying whats on his mind! i asked him pleez pray for joey ok! and he said ok mummy i will! the very next day instead of buying himself a snack with the money i gave him. he bought his bro a small ball!!! joey was soooooo happy! but i was touched that a 7 year old had his bro on his mind even at school.....i mean just tugs at your heart strings( and you guys know what a sentimental loser iam )
People always say Mom's are strong and i guess they are, but they are vulnerable too and sometimes need a bit of rallying around ! iam not feeling real strong but i feel the strength creeping in my veins slowly and steadily .Its funny how one thinks of themselves in different roles but as of now i just feel like a "mom" all other personas have faded at the moment.
dont know how to end this.....so i will just say i might be overeacting and so on so forth( so dont share this stuff with others!!! special warning to family members!!!)
wow saying things loud always does make things better! Thanks for listening anyway!!!






4 comments:

The Ketchup Girl said...

joshie did that? and what is joshie's mommy afraid of? she has always dealt with tough situations with a grit that i haven't seen anywhere. brace up and enjoy the sessions with joey. Joey has the most intelligent eyes i've seen, and he responds to everything around him which is a fantastic thing. and you know whats best in all this? You guys as parents were able to see beyond the obvious and have intervened on time. be patient and wait, next thing you'll want him is to keep mum for atleast a second..thats how much he'll talk. a big sloppy kiss to joey and you and tell joshua, uncle raj will get him a nice present when he visits singapore soon, and that aunty appu finds him to be the coolest kid she has met! love u guys.

明白的一切 said...

先告訴自己希望成為什麼樣的人,然後一步一步實踐必要的步驟。........................................

開心唷 said...

thanks................................................

Muhammad said...

Don't worry its normal for some kids to talk late....hope for the best !!!