A dinner rant.

Jocks sometimes wish that their Numbers could be retired forever, many people have special numbers, lucky numbers and in India and some asian cultures they believe in auspicious times and dates when the moons and suns and gods align. but iam really not into all that kinda stuff......but last night i really wished that i could stand up and give two minutes of silence for 8.15 p.m , you might be scratching your head and wondering what this is all about?! well the significance of 8.15 p.m was" dinner time "back home in my growing up years actually till i was 23 years old....without fail we as a family had dinner together,no books or toys were allowed nothing to distract the family from eating and catching up on the day,though my family is very Britsihified when compared to most Indian families( there are major reasons but thats for another day) when it came to dinner instead of sitting on the dinning table ,we sat in a circle on the floor( how Indian!) ,laughing,shouting even fighting at times, passing the salt ( how ENGLISH!) becoz my dad doesnt eat salt and after years of the" salt debate" that goes on till today at my place. my mom no longer adds salt to the food but we sprinkle it on top of our food. anyway the topic of the said rant is coz of the lack of a proper "dinner time", in todays world or atleast in my home ,we no longer have dinner together, the baby has to be fed first,josh makes such a fuss its like somebody is forcing him to eat bits of cement and gravel, after years of battle ,though he feeds himself now after millions of time outs, alarm clocks, removal of tv time, playground time, punishments and rewards....i still have to monitor him and still our friend manages to eat for an hour plus the longest timed clocked in being 2 plus hours.....so he's the last to get off the table ....hubby cant be relied on to get back at normal dinner time, the world despite all its iphones, blackberys ,macbook and ipads has still not made it any easier to get the man of the house in time for dinner with the four of us.....all this new technology is supposed to make life easier ,one would think people would have more time but most of us are struggling with the 24 hour time limit......so i have my dinner whenever i have a breathing moment and on a good day hubby might join me but my beautiful teak(recycled wood btw) dinning table which i had comissioned lies in the corner gathering dust . i long for 8.15 pm ,i wish i could wave a wand and make it happen just like in the past....modern life has killed the culture of dinner altogether for me. so i pay hommage to the dying art of dinner time and hope against hope that hubby would read this and make it possible. how did our parents do it??? really is it that hard....working all these weird timezones is horrible..........ah i rant on....dont mind me iam in a bit of a foul mood, blame it on the lack of company at dinner time.

Cheers its time to sleep!

I enjoyed the world cup footie just like the rest. secretly glad its over too, bloody late night T.V was getting on my nerves. even the alarm clock had to do its share of the work.....but sleep deprived people who have to keep themselves awake with intensive games of scrabble are no longer easy to live with.while the whole world suffers withdrawal symptoms i revel that nobody will start hogging the T.V AND F.B will not be flooded with similar posts! The octopus will no longer be harassed with insane questions and made to predict the fate of an entire country, as much as i cheered for my favourites who lost by the way.....thanks for the entertainment FIFA WORLD CUP , time to move on.....much needed sleep its time we catch UP! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Day and night.

Was having a bad day. At approximately 4 in the afternoon things took a turn for the better, good music, a game of scrabble, a near win , laughter and a hug later was having the best day in a longtime. At approximately 7 in the evening, i had a lot more to be happy about than when the day began. Good feeling overall. Diagnosis "Good day"

Scary date night.

I am a typical girl, i get scared at the usual stuff like lizards, cockroaches, moving shadows, etc etc but the stuff that really is not my cup of tea, are "SCARY MOVIES" apart from the fact that the mild range ones and the usual thrillers give me a kick and totally spook me out. lately i have stopped watching scary movies all together and though iam not in my dote age, i have simply sobered down, i rather have a pleasant and much needed sleep these nights than staying awake and reliving the scary bits and even worse controlling my bladder on these nights.....so couple of years ago i called it quits to watching horror movies.
Well after a very longtime last week hubby rented a horror movie behind my back and wanted me to watch it with him ,i refused and with thanks went to bed! but the expression on my hubby's face kept haunting me ,it said.....gosh you're such a spoilsport and you are always complaining that you never have time to do some couch time with me alone anymore....so i leaped out of my warm bed, longlingly looked at both my boys asleep peacefully and thought with a sigh iam gonna regret this in the morning.
Hubby beamed when he saw me and patted the seat beside him, patiently rewinding from the beginning.....well the rest you can imagine!!!
The movie in all honesty was not scary at times even funny....but unfortunately iam easy spooked,so after the movie was done we hit the sack groaning at the lateness of the hour and having the usual regrets, funny thing was the moment i tried closing my eyes my over-imaginative mind went into overdrive and lo and behold i was scared....hubby asked me what the matter was and i asked if i could hold his hand, he laughed and said ok.
At somepoint in the night i wokeup and found my hand and shoulder a bit stiff, i realised hubby was still holding my hand.
Yes my lovely readers its time for the you to realise its time to say awwwww!
i dont believe i am too old, but i've been married for a longtime (coz we really got married young )next year we will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary. so ya we dont get googly eyed at each other and we have kinda got comfortable with each other but i loved the fact that we held each others hand like teenages and slept. so hubby if you are reading this bring on some more of those horror movies iam ready for a night of popcorn and soppy handholding :)))

Dessert for the weary soul!!!

People talk about bare necessities ie, food ,shelter and blah blah.....i say add friends to that list too....talking of friends i have to tell you about one of mine who raised the bar on making friends a must have this season!!!!
Kellin my dear girl i have known for the past 8 years i met her one day when i was a first time mom with a 3 month old baby and a homesick heart, she instantly became my friend the second she offered me a sandwich that sunday morning soon after she said hi!!! she was my first chinese friend in Singapore....new to the city far from home ,lonely coz of all the nightshifts hubby was putting in and clueless about babies ,her daily calls to me cheered me up no end!!!!
She is such a blast!!! i always tell people everyone needs a kellin in their life....she is a ray of sunshine and an ever optimistic chatterbox.....we've have close times and distant times over the years. but.......
The other day i bumped into her in the lift , i was struggling with loads of bags and joash the brat was clinging to me, i must have looked a wreck coz an hour after i bumped into her. the doorbell rang , she was carrying a box of Rainbow ruby ice kechang( shaved ice with coconut milk, gulla melaka and more kinda red stuff) all the way from Serangoon Gardens just for me... i tell you i just went to the study sat on the blue sofa and just ate it like a kid....i felt like one too and in that moment all was right with the world once again.....only after an hour it hit me she had done the most unexpecting and heart warming thing anybody had done for me in a longtime...the last time i felt like that was when one day my dad came home from office with the most amazing gateaus ever and we were not expecting it!!!! You ask why wud any one do such stuff the answer is..."just like that" !!! i wish more people do this kinda a thing for each other......just like that ....just for you ,coz you'd like it ,coz it would make you happy.......we all let each other down nowadays, wish we could build each other up instead!!!! in this hot country there is no soup for the soul only ice cool desserts for the soul !!! kellin spared a thought for me one tired mom to another.....she understood she proved that everyone can do without many things but none can replace a good friend.
Kellin thanks for being my friend! thank you and i love you!!!
So go on add a friend to your shopping cart , having a good one is a must this season!!!

Birdie woes!!!

The stuff iam about to share might make you wonder about my sanity or lack of it......but hey its me so iam sure this doesnt come as a surprise !
Gosh saying it aloud is crazy but iam having bird problems...you must be going huh???!!!! ya ya i know it but its true recently i've been suffering from insomnia due to some lousy meds dat i need to take( no they are not looney pills!) anyway just as dawn is breaking i slip into the much needed sleep and lo and behold at bloody ( forgive my lang) 5 o clock our resident( kokila) bird starts its loud cooing (i always associated cooing with love birds silly me!) and off it goes for 2 bloody hours koooo oooo ooo koooo koooooo , i mean hey desperately in need of sleep person dying can we cut that out or what.......perhaps i 've understated the prob, but this has gone on for days......everybody is pissing mad come morning but does our friend the lonely or more like bloody bird relent nooooooooo it just keeps at it!!! well respite came a couple of days ago ,the bloody bird(BB in short) didnt start its racket.....bliss bliss iam sleeping and thinking hey imagine telling anybody that a tiny bird is in control of your sanity....ha ha ha i thought what a laugh.....poor birdie must have found the other birdie it so desperately needed to get in touch with.....damn it i began to feel all lovey dovey towards the BB !!!
Next day poor me was up trying to sleep and finally around 3.00 am my peepers started to droop....eternal bliss must feel like this....around 4.am the BB is back with a bang ...hey whats that racket !!!!!!!!!!!!! not this crap again!!! with bloodshot eyes and crazy hair i dash out ready to kill somebody and if you ask me really i wanted to wring the neck of the BB !!!! i dont believe in Guns at all ,i dont allow my boys even a toy gun....but suddenly i wanted one badly to shoot BB , hubby who didnt suffer much coz of said BB, as we all know Men are never effected by nagging or kids screaming or loud heavy metal music coz they have fine tuned" the art of mental blocking any irrelevant sounds".
He woke up to a wife foaming at the mouth and crying for blood!!! after hearing my tirade he didnt know whether he needed to call the Animal rescue or Mental health......i know its funny you may laugh people but poor me was a sleepless zombie !!!
Anyway thats all in the past the BB disappeared for a bit and i thought of "it" coz "It" made a guest visit this morning again. so i thought i'd get it off my chest before you read in tomoro's news "WOMAN ON RAMPAGE ARRESTED FOR CRUELTY TOWARDS RESIDENT BIRD" please dont judge me too harshly coz iam just another sleepless sod who lost it!!!
anyway to end this episode of my life threatening woes......i recently remembered a movie.....again pleez dont judge my taste in movie but there is this sideline story in the movie"Failure to Launch" where a girl is similarly harrassed by a bird ...pleez go to You Tube and check that bird episode out!!! its funny and exactly how i feel......so ciao my friends pray that i get the much needed shut eye and deliverance from the BB.

Fear!

I've been afraid many times in my life, shit scared too. But this time round it gripped my heart with a vice like grip! give me a moment before i explain myself. sometimes i write on this blog vaguely becoz there are things that are too hard to share......so we hid behind doors and only let out the safe stuff but i want to change all that crap of taking time to heal , or hiding it under a deep recess of my mind.

What i share today is something personal ,something real.....believe me when i say iam not doing this for sympathy or any support..... i just want to say it out loud so "Fear will not hold me prisoner but hope will set me free".

Even as i write this i have already overcome part of the fear, i have made peace with the demons inside and am slowly understanding things are not as bad as i first thought or imagined.

So to get to the point joash my youngest is 2 years 7 months and is not talking much which btw is normal for some kids but i was beginning to get scared about some of the things he was doing!!!!

we've been to a doc and a couple of speech therapists and have decided to start him on it! yesterday was his first session and he did good! it was fun actually....so iam hoping that in the coming months my dahlin boy will start rattling off like good ole me.....but this irrational fear follows me around nowadays!!!

so if you pray sometimes or all the time ! just say a prayer for my baby and me !

I told my eldest josh recently that joey his kid bro was not speaking and as we are concerned ,he will be going to speech therapy, so pleez be patient with your baby bro when he bops you on the head instead of saying whats on his mind! i asked him pleez pray for joey ok! and he said ok mummy i will! the very next day instead of buying himself a snack with the money i gave him. he bought his bro a small ball!!! joey was soooooo happy! but i was touched that a 7 year old had his bro on his mind even at school.....i mean just tugs at your heart strings( and you guys know what a sentimental loser iam )

People always say Mom's are strong and i guess they are, but they are vulnerable too and sometimes need a bit of rallying around ! iam not feeling real strong but i feel the strength creeping in my veins slowly and steadily .Its funny how one thinks of themselves in different roles but as of now i just feel like a "mom" all other personas have faded at the moment.

dont know how to end this.....so i will just say i might be overeacting and so on so forth( so dont share this stuff with others!!! special warning to family members!!!)

wow saying things loud always does make things better! Thanks for listening anyway!!!

Gosh its proven i need a head check!

There is no shortcut to saying this but i got a nasty shock a couple of days ago.....a random fellow blogger left me a nasty comment .....well! stupid me immediately went ahead an reacted and wrote an equally childish retort on said person's blog.......what is wrong with me, you say ?!( just the usual) soon after i deleted said msg coz poor me couldnt handle the truth.( ha ha ha !!!!!)

Truth is the chap though equally insane like me did have some home truth's for me...firstly he called me" pathetic" , thinking objectively i guess from his point of view i must have really looked so.....just to clarify i agree with "you"(random blogger) wholeheartedly! secondly he said i was so sick to be indulging in my "pleez love me a little syndrome" that i needed to be locked away......... this i totally well i partially agree with......firstly every person to think about themselves cant be locked away now can they?! i believe healthcare systems are finding it hard to find places in looney bins for the real criminally insane to begin with.....doesnt anyone read the bloody newspapers anymore???? and regards to the fact that i am a bit sad and indulge myself on my own blog ,which btw was the main purpose for its creation, i will continue to beg for love if i want too!!!!

its not like i am asking anybody to send me guns nor iam plotting to start shooting random people at the mall......Even the "Beatles" my fave band in their song say " all you need is love"...so said person back off!!!!

lastly i was accused of being shameless to think of myself when millions of people in this world where suffering and dying and there was more of that stuff.......i mean helloooooooooooo

where did that come from seriously that was unfair and uncalled for.......this is serious i mean my mom would always start off with random stuff like this all the time " did you know that people in somalia are dying of hunger and you refuse to eat your spinach" really i mean i know what she was saying but hell i dont like spinach( i love it now btw and of course iam not a kid anymore either)

Peoples i love the dying masses as much as the next person unless he belonged to the Taliban mindset.

Everytime there is a Tsuanmi or Bomb blast or Earthquake , i equally feel and am angered by the hate and destruction ...... i even do my part in whatever small way i can.......and yes i am not with Doctors without Borders, or an Activist for human rights or a Volunteer at the Red cross. but i care enough ,you random stranger, i care enough to rant and rave and be candid about" my pathetic life" as you put it. so that when i get off my computer i can go back to being sane and a caring and loving mom.....i do my part alright!!!

what this world needs is well adjusted kids and adults ...so if my being home and "trying" to bring up the next generation to be normal bothers you (again random blogger) i am sorry you feel that way! i really dont have to answer to you or anyone......coz like the rest of the world iam just trying!!!!

so you think i need my head examined or a real good kick in the ass for being such a cry baby!!! i agree with you but thanks for the reality check anyway!!!!