I have reached a stage in my life when nothing right seems to happen ......i think it has something to do with growing up and realising that life is not as simple...that people are complicated.....that 2+2 is not equal to 4 atleast not in real life!
I know that the people who really read this blog understand that from the past year i have been going thru a tough time.....first the pregnancy and taking care of a baby without family and help and then the depression of it all.
The first half of the year went by in denial,survival mode and a bit of iam above all this crap sorta thing.......but of late i think i have started to unravel bit by bit.....sometimes i think iam at the edge of something horrible and all i have to do is to let go and i will plunge into some kinda a blackhole of no return.
But things are not that bad at times......josh and joash keep me grounded...and though i lose it from time to time....its the kids who ground me,who put a smile on my face, who tell me that you can fall and cry about your boo boo's but then with a little distraction and love the tears that havent even dried on the face are replaced by a big grin....i must follow their lead...they are full of life and joy and a different sorta reckless love for life.
I have three people to thank who are helping me thru this shit! and believe me i feel much support and encouragement. i think i am gonna pull thru in the end. i tried to do this alone..but i neednt do it alone....coz i realised like the U2 song says"sometimes you cant make it on your own".
Guys you are the best.....my friends , too whom i am eternally grateful....love you guys forever.
thanks . Aps , Niru and Ash! with your help i feel iam recovering ....cant wait to meet all of you again.
Here's a toast to you guys and also to my boys...cheers!
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