Thought of the day!

Yep its one of those things i always wanted to do be the sayer of sayings...here goes one " one has to pull their diehard positive spirit out of hibernation" aparna das.

well thats all for now......this kinda thing i call sayings from the common man.......have a positive day ahead.....ta da or is it ta ta.....anyway its one one them if you got the gist!
byeeeeeee
psssssst i promise this nonsensical phase will pass...iam just warming up for bigger and greater divine writing.....i promise this is leading upto something good ....be patient my good readers!

Diehard romantic!

The last couple of days has seen me a desperate movie watcher........instead of recharging my already dead batteries with a well deserved and much needed nap.....when i find both the kids sleeping at the same time ....i cant resist doing something and since i cant getaway ....i watch movies.....yes my dahlins they are the mushiest and girliest ones evea...(thanks to my sister who is the owner of the said collection) ..... since she passed on a whole bunch of them......i've become the admirer of the corniest lines the sentimental fool in me secretly enjoys the teary bits.......

Well the side of me that is all artsy fartsy protests.....but to hell.....now and then i will indulge and you snooty art movie watchers may go and take a @$##.......whatever that is........

The movie "Australia" left me with the line" if love aint in your heart then you got nothing"....to Nothing hill's " there are people who do grow old together"......not to mention a hundred other such lines have left me craving for romance......hope to find some too.....not a bad wish eh! well heres to some romance dripping movie watching in the days to come! cheers

Steaming off!

I know that i promised myself way before new years that i would do some quality writing .....but who was i kidding...the moment i start to think such lofty stuff....i get hit by a bad case of writers block.....
while iam travelling on the train or just washing the dishes my mind is assailed by a million ideas and even short stories ...but by the time i manage to get to my blog...inspiration runs dry and i find myself toooo tired or i've completely forgotten that wonderful thought......

so unlike many other optimistic people ....who get all gooey and mushy at new years...i 've decided to go the opposite way and do nothing great or make no big plans or resolutions and maybe...things will happen....so here's to reverse psychology......everyday from henceforth i commit myself to writing utter gibberish and perhaps posthumously i will be read as one of the greats and go down in the annals of history as a history maker( well i did warn you it would be utter nonsense)
so holding on to that thought....today i was very touched by something i saw on the telly.....a daugther who wonders if she actually belongs to her family as she finds no similarities asks her father.....why she is so different...she says " daddy i even drive fast unlike you...you never even touch the speed limit.....her dad replies and says who says i drive slow......i only drive slow coz you are in the car" for some reason i was touched!!! must be that father dotter thingy that gets me each time! well on that totally unrelated note ....i bid you adieu and say see ya tomorrow.
psssst ....hopefully some sleep will clear my head.......nite nite!

Sorry for the absence!

Readers (if any of you left) since the last few months have seen zit no of writeups...i sincerely apologise n ask that you guys be patient till the New year is ushered in.
firstly too many things on my plate at the moment....the the creative juices have been left stewing far too long!
The home we bought this year has been going thru renovation and i cant explain the happiness and frustration that one goes thru while taking up such projects.......not to mention the tiredness and add two kids to the mix only makes one wonder why we do what we do!!!!

Josh is joining primary school and i feel kinda on edge with worry as to how he will cope! so the New year has its share of big bumps ahead.....need to gear for independence day as the first half of the year will see me gone ....albeit late into the bad bad world.(as most of you know iam off to start my course this coming year)

We are leaving for our holiday to India for my broinlaws wedding and christmas.....loads of packing to do...so folks while i clear all the cobwebs on my brain...pleez be patient i will be joining blogging seriously soonish! in the meanwhile Happy holidays folks and have a wonderful year-end!
see ya soon!
all my love,
The mockingbird.

Tuesday's with aunty rachael.

Tomorrow is tuesday and i feel a bit sad...coz for the past 2 months it had become a regular feature for me to end up at lydia's for a tete- a - tete with her mom and us two girls yabbering over tea time and holding fort on any given topic, till either the baby needed attention or it was time for me to get going as the kids were waiting back home.

As the general rule goes , i pretty much get on with most of my friends parents...but with lydia's mom....it was different...she was so on and engaged with life , and though she is very much the epitome of a typical well rounded mom figure...she also is a very sweet and intelligent person, she shared a world view which was very current and she spoke so wonderfully and passionately about any of the issues we discussed ...that i wished for a second why cant ...more indian mothers be like her.......we even managed to share a couple of jokes, i dare say i never thought ,could be shared with a person of her generation( really my views on mothers here is limited to indian moms my non-indian blog readers)

It was so relaxing and fun and i really let my hair down.......they were days when i couldnt make it on tuesdays and promptly lydia would call saying mom is asking you to come tomorrow...the phone would be passed to aunty and we would yabber away...really i never thought anybody could talk so much more than me.

The most important feature was the food that accompanied the chatter and long emotional debates with me taking turns siding either mother or daughter.......i would take along dessert or some snack and ....sometimes it was literally dinner and a show........

Totally loved every minute......i got aunty a gift before she left for india as her time was up in Singapore...(she had come over for lydia's confinement) . she loved the gift and tears welledup in her eyes...its rare to see genuine emotion in a day and age, which abhors sentiment.
before i left she hugged me a really hug believe me and kissed me on both my cheeks...(no arty airy fairy french air kiss) and i felt real affection from her side....for a person who lives far from home and family...i think she really affected me with a fuzzy and wonderful feeling.

Aunty i will miss you something bad......i will really come down to your place in the near future....lydia and i have decided that we will pack our bags and drag the kids for a wonderful holiday in India.....the kids are not gonna stop us from having some wholesome fun and pleez ...if mother and daughter felt no generational or silly stuff like i love my kid but i cant stand to be with them...i think we need to rethink our view.....kids below 5 can be very exhausting....but i think we must start to like being with them.....and when the bond remains ...some smashingly good times can be had in the future.

here's to some good times and aunty rachael!
cheers.

Taxi driver ,me and some odd ends!

The urge to blog is back with a bang, guess its something to do with me finally emerging from the fog after a longtime.
The month of sept started off ok......but then i was being bombarded with loads of bad news , and as usually owing to my fragile state of mind, i had not been able to stomach the stuff.

But breakthroughs happen and i have started to live all over again. the dark cloud of depression and negativity which surrounded me has finally lifted.

I am still a little over sensitive and things easily affect me......but iam only getting stronger everyday! yay!
i owe my recovery to a lot of factors and people..... books, movies,excercise, counselling....but major thanks goes to God( He didnt letup or give up on me) Ash, Pat, Lydia and her mom( without their knowledge) Tara and Hiliyah. i am totally indebted to you folks.


Now for lesser morbid things......heres my incident with the taxi driver......late one evening i was returning home from lydia's place , i was running late and i flagged down a taxi.....to my luck this taxi driver happened to be one of those chatty fellas , we singaporeans are well acquainted with the breed!!!!!
here goes the conversation......
taxi driver: " YOU TEACHER RIGHT"???
me: mmmmm......
taxi driver: " I GUESSED RIGHT DIDNT I"?????
me : mmmm......yeah . you are right iam a teacher you guessed right!

Well people you are right in being shocked ......i dont know what came over me i never lie....well not never but generally i dont if you get the drift.....so here iam blatantly lying....i guess his enthusiam was catching and i didnt want to disillusion him on his powers of deduction.......and i guess heart of hearts i knew well people always say i look like a teacher and that i should not waste my education but teach somewhere.......honestly i would hate to teach ...i dont want to teach.....but i've done my share of teaching.....sunday school..so i guess whatever the reasons......i agreed that i was a teacher and asked him how he had guessed...he said....i looked like a teacher....and that he picked me up in the vicinity of a school.....so he put two and two together......well what can i say it rankled a bit...i hate the idea of me looking like a teacher...do i????? this blog is open to readers to comment freely and tell it too me!!!! i mean teachers always look like they have a stick up their wazooo if i may say so without offending anybody.....( sorry mom and mominlaw...both are teachers by the way) and they also seem very dogmatic and preachy and have very decided opinions on almost all matters......pleez people this is a cry for help....put me out of my misery and tell me that the blasted taxi driver was wrong!!!!

Other newsy stuff , i have been reading a lot of Mary westmacott...the pen name of Agatha christie...while she wrote love stories with a twist instead of her usual dectective novels.... so fellow readers try the books darn good i must say!!!!!
Also been catching up on loads of good movies......people call me for the names too tiring to tell you.....also been improving my bowling skills and spending more time with hubby after eons....loving every bit!
Today went out with kellin and did total girly stuff...never thought it was possible to have fun like that after a longtime.........next friday will be doing it all over again.......looking forward to the yummy " dim sum "(chinese high tea) yay yay yay!
thats all for now
signing off
a bit loopy me!

Never give up!

Iam not an airhead who is trying to talk out of turn, nor am i try to preach to anyone......iam not trying to moralise nor ami trying to sound righteous .....

iam just a person who understands pain and has lost 3 people i know who have given up and not fought with the dark inside of them.
As a person for who the pain of loss is still real i speak from the heart when i say.....folks we all have dark moments....they are times when we are walking that thin line between sanity and insanity. periods of times when the valley of the shadow of death and negativity loom large, when the future has no promise.

People please never for a moment think you are alone.....you dont know how precious you are to many of the people around you. never forget you are unique and many of us cant imagine life without you. If you are hurting too much , seek help, support and friends. Even family!

People, please start being there for your loved ones...make time in a world where 24 hrs is not enough anymore... and work has taken priority over people. Read the signs and when people seek too much time by themselves or want to be left alone...dont believe them...coz sometimes you cant make it on your own. Dont go to far into the dark..that you cant find your way out!

Fight it folks .....Goddamn it fight it! Too long you wallow in the negative you feed the beast.....i urge all my friends......Never give up!
Even when its seems people dont care and you wont be missed...you will be believe me.
Remember when you punish others by hurting yourself the person you hurt the most is yourself and people around. I believe , we live in a world where selfishness....me, myself only matter. please disabuse yourself of this attitude......give and live for others ....soon you all will be happy.

I know right now iam very angry and hurting coz of what has been happening .....Santosh, pritish and now Z ....... i cannot believe that you felt life is so cheap! that your lives were solely yours....No! humanity is tied with other people.....

I dont know about others and if you know i really mean it! But pleez iam there for you my friends and family......remember i am always there....call me, mail me and sms me.
YOU ARE WORTH IT! learn to recieve help!

Z, S,P we miss you sorely. wish you guys hadnt done it! for the rest.....

NEVER GIVE UP! FIGHT ON!